Active listening
As you build your emotional intelligence you learn how to listen better. You start by learning to actively listen to your body and your emotions. After you master listening to yourself you turn those skills towards people in your environment. Friends, family, and people at work. Active listening allows you to hear what is not being said. This is similar to reading between the lines. As a mental health counselor, this is something I do all the time. When a client is sitting across from me and I notice they are beginning to raise their voice and speak faster this is a sign of anger. Hearing their anger allows me to understand their anger and also allows me to acknowledge their experience which serves to build rapport. The acknowledgment is one way I reflect.
Reflecting
When you reflect another person’s experience it lets them know you see them and acknowledge them. By reflecting I mean holding up a mirror for them to see themselves. You do this with words and it can be as simple as saying “You’re angry.” This simple statement lets them know you see their anger. They feel understood and recognized. When you begin to accurately reflect the emotions of others this information will help you in leadership qualities, conflict resolution, and influence their behavior based on what emotions they feel.
Understanding Emotions
As you build your emotional intelligence you will begin to understand emotions. Each emotion we feel has a function. By learning the function of each emotion, you can influence and persuade others to operate from a place of joy. This is one way to increase your leadership skills and conflict resolution techniques. This will also give you an understanding of why people react in certain ways. The active listening skills, reflections, and understanding of emotions all help build rapport with others.
Building rapport
When you engage in your emotional intelligence in conversations with others you build rapport quickly. Think of the last time you spoke to someone and you felt as though they completely understood you. You likely felt connected to that person and odds are that person has known you for quite some time. When you increase your emotional intelligence you can give others that same effect without knowing them very well. This is something I do with my clients within my first two sessions. That’s a little less than two hours. Imagine if you can connect with people on such a deep level within two hours of talking to them. How would your social life be different than it is today?
Learn more about Emotional Intelligence here