5 Steps to Increase Self-Regulation

Greenwood Village, Colorado, 80111


Self-awareness is crucial to improving your ability to regulate your emotions. You cannot regulate things you are not aware of so the first step in self-regulation is to build your awareness. In a previous blog post, I discussed 10 ways to increase your awareness. If you have not read that blog then that is where you should start in order to improve your self-regulation skills. 

Identify triggers

Often my clients discuss their feelings but are unaware of what caused them. If you are not aware of why you are reacting the way you do, how can you avoid this problem in the future? What I do with my clients is go back moment by moment to discover where everything changed. What I mean is, look over every detail right before you became emotional. Go over the thoughts you had, what your 5 senses were picking up, and pinpoint the moment you had an emotional reaction. 

Replace your negative self

Negative self-talk has no value. Replace all of your negative self-talk with positive talk. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you treat your loved ones. It never ceases to amaze me with my clients how many people treat themselves worse than they treat others. You essentially become your own micromanaging bully. You can’t stand it when other people treat you with so much toxic language yet you are seemingly complacent in giving yourself an abundance of toxic language. 

Remain objective

Acknowledge your emotions with objectivity. There is no need to pass judgment on your emotions. It is normal and human to have emotions. Instead, recognize what emotions you are experiencing and determine what the source is. Become a private investigator to your own emotions. Allow yourself to feel curious as to where these feelings come from. 


Every emotion you have changes how you breathe. Anxiety causes shortness of breath as if you are running. Crying causes uneven breathing and anger will cause you to take a deep breath right before you unload. Control your breathing to gain control of your emotions. Lose control of your breathing, lose control of your emotions. 

Learn more about Emotional Intelligence here

6200 S Syracuse Way Ste 260
Greenwood Village, CO 80111


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